How To Make Married Sex Better

Fire up the sex appeal in your marriage


Making you and your spouse’s emotional connection and intimacy a priority is a move that the whole family benefits from. How do you keep your intimate relationship with your partner intriguing and spicy when you’ve been picking up each other’s dirty socks off the floor for years? It starts with being willing and open to try.

Schedule it

You can’t plan the spontaneity and unbridled passion that we think of when we think of good sex, but without setting aside time to spend with just your partner - that doesn’t include cleaning the house or running errands - it becomes easy to let other things take precedence. Plan an outing together in advance. Pick something you’re both interested in and can get excited about. That’s the kind of extended foreplay that will make your date night hot.

Feel good about yourself

Make sensuality a priority. Don’t underestimate the power of treating yourself to some lingerie that feels good on your skin, body wash that smells like a dream, candles that make your bedroom feel a little more luxe. Superficial-seeming, maybe, but it’s the simple pleasures that make life a little more fun. Put yourself first.

Explore your fantasies

Your imagination is the best sex toy. Fantasies - extensions of our imaginative creativity - can present doors of adventure to be explored in your relationship. Be willing to share them with your partner.

Keep your bedroom sacred

Co-sleeping can be a tricky habit to break, but making your bed a no-kids zone will ensure the spark between your partner stays alight. Make your bedroom a place where the sexual energy flows freely - that means no screens, no toys on the floor, no work papers. Make it a relaxing space you want to be in, where you can unwind. Set the mood. Think: candles, iPod speakers with your favourite playlists ready to go.

Reveal a different side of yourself

Without venturing into the world of role-play (which can be foreboding and totally un-sexy if you’re not gung-ho about the idea), you can invite your partner to meet a part of you that he/she seldom sees. For example, invite them to take part in a favourite solo activity of yours - like playing an instrument or trolling an art gallery. Exploring the many sides of each other are what bringing relationships to the next depth is all about. 

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