How Often Should You Be Having Sex?

Three tips for finding a satisfying balance in your sex life


 

There is no one-size-fits all “amount of sex” that all couples should be having - sexual frequency varies with age, relationship duration, and lifestyle. If you’re wondering if you’re having enough sex, ask yourself how much sex you want to be having. The optimal frequency is the amount that works for both you and your partner. Here’s how to find your ideal balance

Address unbalanced sex drives 

Communication is the key to success in any relationship, from the mundane daily tasks (driving kids to school, running errands) to the bedroom. If there is an unbalance of sexual desire in your relationship, teach your partner / have your partner teach you how to prepare for sex. Help your partner help you. As long as you’re willing to talk about it and consider compromising where you see fit, an unbalanced sex drive won’t be a deal breaker.

Seek quality not quantity 

You could get it on every night and not be satisfied if you’re not fully in the moment - just like you could eat an entire bag of Doritos without even realizing while on a Youtube spree. Mindless sex is like mindless munching - without being present (to your senses, your feelings and thoughts), it won’t be fulfilling. Commit, both you and your partner, to making quality your sex life a top priority in your relationship. That includes being clear on each other’s needs. 

Maintain your sex life 

It’s a two way street. If one of you fails to initiate sex or appears disinterested, that lack of intimacy can result in distance and anger. Be sure your attraction to each other extends beyond the bedroom. From lingering over a kiss in the morning or sending an extra-thoughtful text, make sure your partner knows you’re thinking about them. This will result in a closer connection.   

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