Baby Names Banned in New Zealand
Why? Why have children if you clearly hate them?
According to an article on Yahoo!, if it wasn’t for laws in New Zealand keeping parents from giving baby names that would scar their children for life, there would be six Lucifers running around. SIX! Could you imagine a two-year-old running around in daycare, doing two-year-old things, named Lucifer? Or, better yet, a teenager? “Sorry officer. The devil made me do it.”
Worry not though, it’s not just the devil who is off limits. In New Zealand you are also banned from naming your child Christ. Good lord.
Better yet, “Among the obviously horrid baby names banned are "Mafia No Fear," "4Real" and "Anal." Since the ruling, little "4Real" was renamed "Superman”.”
I just…wow. Superman?
I get it, the first act of parenting is getting to pick what name your child will go by throughout their life. But Anal? You don’t name a child you love, who you want to have a wonderful happy life, Anal. It’s not the kind of word you throw around to refer to something you like. “I love my boss. He’s awesome. He’s so Anal.” No.
And it’s not just New Zealand who is trying to help kids from becoming fodder for life-long humiliation.
In Sweden, parents were denied the right to name their child "Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116."
And I thought the various forms of ways to spell Jacqueline were hard to learn.
How do you even pronounce that? I don't know who I feel worse for, that kid or his teachers. Well, probably that kid.
Made up/creative names are one thing. Swap out an “i” for a “y” boom, you have a whole new creative version of a name. Or the growing trend of women to give their children their maiden names, also at least has some basis in reasonable reasons for name choice. You don’t need to name your kid after the devil to be different.
Do these parents think they’re being funny? Original? Outside the box? What is the reasoning behind giving your child a name that is clearly a joke?
“According to the New Zealand's Births, Deaths, and Marriages Registration Act of 1995, "…it is undesirable in the public interest for a person to bear a name or combination of names if, and only if, (a) it might cause offence to a reasonable person; or (b) it is unreasonably long…” explains Yahoo!
You’d think a ‘reasonable person’ wouldn’t consider wanting to name their child ‘Anal’ in the first place. So maybe the threshold for ‘reasonable’ needs to be defined a bit more clearly.
If I were a judge, I’d want to force anyone who tries to register a ridiculous name for their child to instead name their child Jane or John.